Why the People in Your Life Are Key to Climate Grief Recovery

When you are carrying the weight of climate grief or living with eco anxiety, the people you spend time with matter more than you might think. We often hear the phrase: “You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with.” And it is true. Without even noticing, we absorb other people’s moods, habits, and worldviews.

Think of it this way. If you were trying to stop smoking, would it be easier to surround yourself with friends who all smoke or with people who never reach for a cigarette? The same principle applies to numerous factors in our lives. Want to get fit? Hang out with people who share your passion for sports. Want to get started with climate grief recovery? Spend time with more optimistic people. It really is that simple.

Finding the Middle Way

It is natural to want to spend time with people who share our concerns about the planet. They understand what we are going through, and they care deeply too. But there is a spectrum. At one end, some people dismiss or deny environmental problems altogether. At the other end are people who care but are consumed by doom and despair.

What helps most is finding people who live the middle way. These are companions who acknowledge reality, who do not shy away from difficult conversations, but who also continue seeking ways to live with hope, integrity, and contribute to a better world.

The idea is to spend more time with people who understand you and uplift you, so you have more resilience when it comes to draining relationships that can't be avoided.

Social Media Counts Too

This is not only about in-person relationships. Social media shapes our emotions just as much. Who do you follow online? Do they leave you feeling hopeless, outraged, or drained?

Or do they inspire, inform, and encourage you to take constructive steps?

Notice how you feel after scrolling. Do you feel heavier, lighter, clearer, or more confused? As well as spending less time on social media altogether, I would recommend cultivating your feed and only following people who bring you hope and encouragement, or at least who bring you rage and optimism in equal measure. Anyone who demotivates you can be unfollowed, and people who light you up in a good way can be selected as "close friends" on your networks, so you see more of their content.

Do you keep stumbling over traumatising images or messages? It's okay to click those three dots and select "see less content like this". It's not about living in denial. It's about being realistic with yourself: does this content do anything apart from make me feel awful? If it doesn't inspire you to act and you find it traumatising, why are you still looking at it?

A Practical Exercise

Take a blank page and write down the ten people you spend the most time with. This might include family, friends, colleagues, or even people you interact with regularly online. Now place each of them somewhere on a spectrum that runs from climate denial on one side to climate grief and despair on the other.

The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle, where people are motivated, caring, and

hopeful. These are the people who recognise the challenges but do not let themselves be paralysed by them. If possible, allocate more of your time and energy here.

This does not mean you need to cut anyone out of your life. It simply means being aware of the influence different people have on you and making conscious choices about where to invest your energy.

Building Resilience

By prioritising relationships with people in that motivated, caring, hopeful middle ground, you build your own resilience and wellbeing. That resilience helps protect you in situations where you cannot choose who you are with, such as in the workplace or at family gatherings.

When your core circle is supportive and balanced, you have a stronger foundation to carry you through more challenging environments. And it's from that happier and healthier place that we are able to contribute to important causes for people and the planet, without feeling overwhelmed or burned out.

The beautiful thing is that this influence flows both ways. Just as we learn from the people around us, they learn from us. By choosing to spend more time with those who balance care with action, we not only feel steadier, but we also become that kind of presence for others. Without forcing or preaching, we can help guide those around us toward kindness, resilience, and meaningful action.

Climate Grief Recovery Starts Small

You do not have to get this perfect. Working out who you want to spend more time with is a process of gentle adjustments and making small changes. Every conversation, every shared post, and every moment of connection can help you learn and grow into someone you are proud of.

So next time you are with friends, family, colleagues, or scrolling online, pause and ask yourself: What am I learning here? Who am I becoming? And remember, you always have a choice in whose voices you let shape your journey.

I hope you found this blog post helpful! You can sign up for my monthly newsletter on my homepage to receive the latest blog posts, free resources to help with eco-anxiety, and information about upcoming events. If you'd like to book individual coaching with me, you can book an initial call below:

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